Speak Your Silence asked "If you had to narrow down your top three most important core values, what would they be?"
Mine are Truth, Freedom and Self-Empowerment.
A good question to ask, and would we easily recognize yours?
And, are your core values what you are living?
Can they be your core values IF you are not expressing them in your choices?
Isn't what we do the core truth of who we are.
A line in the book "A Man Called Ove" by Fredrik Backman suggested, right is just right.
As I snowshoed along, I thought on this.
Right is right and truth is truth.
Two very tough things to live by.
The reason I live by truth...is it is senseless to live by untruths; for the truths are there regardless if we make choices based on them. And, it is much harder to live by truth than it is to live untruthfully. And, being truthful to yourself and others may be hard, but it is extremely rewarding and a comforting place to be.
And, I believe Love is Freedom.
Allowing someone to live as they want is the highest form of love. Not trying to change them or make them do this or that FOR you...is Love. It also allows you the very same space to be you. This was my greatest achievement as a wife/mother/friend/sister. You are free to be you.
Free to be you with me or away from me.
Free to make choices that are best for you and not for me.
As I allowed you the freedom to be; it gave me the freedom as well.
Love without freedom isn't love; but being a puppet for another's happiness or love or approval or peace.
What was so interesting for me, was how connected I was to others. In that my happiness depending upon their behavior and mine on theirs. When I stopped being their happiness, peace, love and joy....I found mine.
I then was free to choose who I wanted a relationship with and who I did not.
Which grew my self-empowerment.
If I am unable to do what my self needs are, than I am not empowered; but powerless.
Giving others their power back, gave me mine.
This, I believe is what will correct the victims of abuse...and stop its legacy.
You can't be a victim when you are empowered, free and living your truth.
So many well intentioned folks want to do anything but what is right...when it comes to family. They lose all power and their freedom...when they ignore truthful acts of abuse.
They become captive to it.
All their choices will be to appease abuse by remaining silent and unresponsive...and become valueless.
I just don't believe you can have value while you value someone who abuses you or those you love. It has to lower you to love them.
I was once told I would lose my children's love and friendship IF I raised my expectations too high. Really? Isn't it the opposite?
We set the bar by how we live...and our value is created by us, not by another's good opinion of us.
My value's are truth, freedom and self-empowerment.
The opposite of what makes a victim.
If you have a choice...and can freely make it... you are no longer a victim.